What do husband and wife want from each other?

What do husband and wife want from each other?

 In the evening, the husband returns home from office and changes his clothes. The wife says - the clothes you are wearing should be arranged. Shoes on one side, tie on the other. Coats and pants are thrown everywhere.

As soon as he comes home, seeing that his wife is in a bad mood, his husband also gets upset. They start talking to each other. Small fights happen.

The reason for the fight was nothing special. But there was a fight between them. The conversation stopped. When they feel uncomfortable, they look for reasons to fight. In particular, the reason for the fight is due to small expectations towards each other.

The wife's expectation was, "The husband should not make a mess at home." Let him keep it as hard as he can.'

The husband's expectation was, 'When he returns home after working all day, tired, at least his wife should be happy. Welcome home cordially.'

This scene from a Hindi movie shows how a couple quarrels even on the slightest pretext. There is a popular saying in Nepali society, "The quarrel of old people is the fire of straw." It is understood that the quarrel between husband and wife is taken as a normal process. Often such fights happen in a moment and are resolved in a moment.

Expect the seeds of strife

The husband wants his life partner to have 32 traits. Attractive in appearance, polite and humble in speech, patient, forgiving, prudent, educated, mature, creative, loving.

The wife wants her spouse to be endowed with every quality. Be prosperous, capable, strong, patient, mighty, educated, intelligent.

But not all people are perfect. People have their own strengths and weaknesses. But when the couple cannot identify each other's good or weak points, their expectations for each other increase. This is the expectation that weakens the marital relationship.

Psychologist Pushpa Adhikari says that couples fight because they cannot understand and accept each other. "It is easy to establish a relationship but it is difficult to maintain it efficiently," she says.

According to him, the main reason for problems in relationships is the feeling of having to win for both, the habit of expecting more from each other. Adhikari says, "When both of them are on fire, it is natural that they will burn." Not being able to accept each other's existence, lack of respect, having to win with one's own things, etc. causes problems in married life.

It is not unusual for a husband and wife to have expectations of each other when married life begins. But looking for perfection in everything according to your expectations is foolishness. So what do husband and wife expect from each other?

Expectations of wife

Nature itself has created the nature of men and women differently. Because their chromosomes are different, their temperament and nature are different.

Women are more emotional than men. Women expect someone to understand rather than express their feelings. They expect him to take care of me, to propose sex. She expects her husband to give her time, laugh with her, take care of her, give her priority. But they don't say these things openly. They want their husband to understand their expectations.

Today's women are financially independent but want to be emotionally dependent. The husband wants to tell her to behave like a child, to cheat when there is a dispute about something. Also, the wife wants her husband to praise her, whether it is office or business, and return home as soon as the work is done.

husband's expectations

Often men prefer to be respected. They don't like being rude or disrespectful to others. They always expect to be taken care of and respected. Also, they think that their decision is mature and they expect others to agree with their decision.

The main desire of the husband is that his wife should be patient. He wants his wife to create a peaceful atmosphere in the family, to get along rather than to fight in anything, to take care of the family, to be very thoughtful while speaking and working, to love and be kind to everyone.

All the attention of the wife should be for the welfare of the family. The husband wishes that he should not speak highly of his husband in front of his family, respect him, and give importance to his family over his ambitions.

How to solve it?

The practice of seeking marriage counseling before marriage has not come to Nepal. According to the psychologist officer, when a love affair abroad turns into a marriage, the counselor gives advice on how to move forward in the future and how to deal with the upcoming situation. "You should not endure the relationship, you should be happy with the relationship," she says.

Likewise, the habit of reviewing one's shortcomings and comparing oneself with others should be removed. "Just like letting others put their feet in your shoes, you should start solving the problem by exchanging responsibilities," says the psychologist Adhikari.

Instead of winning with arguments, one should talk with love and laugh, give up the mentality that one's words should win, and talk openly about sexuality.

Even if you are angry, you should not hide it and react on impulse. Husband and wife feel respect for each other when they speak in a balanced manner.